Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Time for the Anticipated (and Becoming Cliche) "I'm A Bad Student" Post

Listen to a podcast of this post, thanks to Talkr

I'm a bad student. I say it all the time, and yet, for some reason, people never believe me. I suppose the confusion may come from my choice of adjective: I'm not a bad student, I'm a terrible student. I honestly hope that some how, through witchcraft or voodoo or some other sort of black magic, I will be able to lead my future students down the path of goodstudentry, despite my complete and utter lack of example.

What has led me to this conclusion... for the 7,483rd time?

I try to do things like readings for class, but I just can't. Honestly. Maybe I'm just stubborn, but I have no patience to read about what other scholarly people have had to say about what makes a good teacher, and how to motivate students, and so on and so forth. And I'm not saying I'd rather figure it out for myself, either. I would just rather listen in during class, take some high points from the conversation I hear other students having about the readings, and look into it from there. I realize that, were everyone to take my approach, there would be no conversation in class whatsoever. Therefore, by definition, my approach is the wrong approach, and therefore makes me a terrible student, right?

Well, I'm beginning to think otherwise. I might just be trying to shake responsibility here, but I think it is entirely possible that I'm just a different type of learner than others. I'm not going to learn from reading articles. I can testify to this from my job as a reader for a visually-impaired linguistics professor here at the college: I've read dozens of journal articles to her dealing with first- and second-language acquisition, and had discussions with her about the issues raises, and yet I couldn't tell you thing one about them. It all goes in one ear and out the other. Now, you might argue that this is simply because I don't care about linguistics, but that's not entirely true. I find some of the topics I read to her very interesting at the time -- but they're all lost within five minutes after I turn the page.

So what does this mean? For me, it means something important. It means that all the years I've been beating myself up for being a bad student might have been filled with misguided anger. I'm just finally opening up my ideas to the potential that maybe, just maybe, I'm simply differently-abled when it comes to learning. And I think that's a valuable understanding for me to have as I enter into a career as an educator.

My host teacher for observation said something similar to me last week. We were talking about how some kids are just plain "good kids" and, even though they might not do every shred of homework or participate in classroom discussion, it is possible that they are acquiring knowledge in their own ways. A teacher needs to be observant of these things, and make sure he/she makes connections with every student, regardless of whether or not the student appear to be with it. A personal touch to learning might be all that student needs.

Well, I went off on some tangents there, but the point is that, for the first time I can remember, this particular "I'm a bad student" post, unlike all the others I've made in my life, has been made with the caveat that "bad student" is a highly relative term. I might look like a bad student compared to some others, but if I simply look within myself (where I should be looking, after all) I can see that I am learning indeed, even if it isn't in the traditional sense.

8 comments:

rayhedrick said...

Yes, Dave. That's how I feel also. That is why I have always been slightly against the whole "class participation" grade. I always do all of my reading--but, I don't always talk in class. It's not because i'm shy, I assure you. But, I get so much more from lectures and class discussions in just taking it all in. I guess putting in my two pennies would enhance the discussion, but I think learning, for me, is through listening. I know exactly how you feel.

Anonymous said...

Dave, your assessment has one fatal flaw for me--you're defining good student as one who has mastered (or cares to) school literacies.

And you know what I think about that.

You have it just right I think when you say that teachers have to be observant and have to see IN the student how s/he learns and what s/he needs (or wants) to learn...constantly gauging the relevance of curricular decisions to individual students...and the student collective of course.

You are actually a quite extraordinary student by the standards that matter to me.

You are intellectually curious, gifted at learning new technologies, an astute reader, a fine writer and a man, thank god, with INTERESTS and the passion to explore those interests.

I wish every student were like you.

So I'm not buying your analysis here.

What got you thinking about it to begin with? K

Dave E. said...

Wait, so what do mean you don't agree? What you said about me is pretty much what I said about me, is it not?

Sarah said...

Interesting discussiong developing here...

I think that, perhaps, Dave, you've been defining yourself as a bad student based on what you do/don't do and that has a lot to do with what your teachers are asking you to do.

Well, as you know, I'm on the other end of the participating classroom. I love a good heated discussion. But, not everyone works like this, which is where blogging comes in. A blog is a good way to generate more discussion and to hear different points of view. If had to rely on the in class discussions, I would not have heard much from Dave or Ray. Thankfully for their blogs, I feel like I get to hear a lot, and I suspect they are more comfortable saying what they have to say here.

This seems to be growing into a post for my blog, so to be continued...

Mrs. Brenneck said...

Dave, reading articles doesn't work at all for me unless I can discuss them. While I don't dislike reading, the only way that the information I read becomes meaningful to me is to hear other discuss it and to join in. This is no doubt why many fellow students tire of hearing my voice. Hell, after my podcast, I tire of hearing my voice. So you're not alone...it's just a different preference.

Dave E. said...

I can't speak for others, Natalie, but I for one will never tire of hearing your voice.

Anonymous said...

I was playing off your own irony DE...your upside down description of what a "good" student is.

And of course, yes, I do agree w/you but I think I give you more credit than you even give yourself here--eh?

As for all the sizes and shapes learners come in--love that Dan Pink for getting us to think about ways people are/can be SMART. So many different ways.

And yet schools pretty much ask kids to be smart in one way--well, maybe two!

I like class conversation--but it is difficult to tread that line between granting more reticent students their right to be reticent--granting them the freedom of not-speech so to speak--and working one's tail off to elicit and expect discussion starters and extenders from all students.

I do think that expectations for discussion in a teacher education class are and need to be different. This is a pre-professional program.

A teacher has to find his/her voice and learn how to use it. It's a tool for teachers just like our iLife apps are.

One way a pre-service teacher does that is by practicing, by coming to class able to initiate talk that speaks to whatever is at hand--in grad school--often a reading(s). Sigh!

I don't think it's optional for teacher candidates to withhold comment. Not that one needs to be a chatterbox--no. But thoughtful response -- well that just seems like a minimal expectation.

In grad school in some classes (guess which one?) a student gets to have some control over what s/he decides to comment thoughtfully about.

There's room for everybody's "comment." Now if there were only time!

Steven said...

I don't consider you to be a bad student. You can't fairly assess your learning based on the texts you have read. Much that we learn in school (or anywhere else) we learn by doing. I guess what I am trying to say is that you can apply a text to whatever you do and it may seem good in theory... hell, it might even make you sleep better at night knowing that you are following a set plan... but the only way we can truly assess our learning is by admitting that we Don't Know... Life is one big "contract of vagueness." The biggest thing that I have learned in college is how much I don't know. When I reflect on my pre-college years... I thought that if one received a degree in English, they were an expert in that field. I can't even remember what a past participle is or was? ... Which, what, who, was it? Or is it anyway? The one thing that I have learned from college is how to think and read critically… they say you are supposed to learn this in fourth grade, not at forty. I guess it took me a little longer.